2016 Update: I care more about this blog than I do that "they" can read it, otherwise I'd stop writing it and create a new one. As long as they finally leave me and my little family alone, there should be no problem, even though I requested that they don't read it. Since they have no interest in my writing, I'm probably safe. I hope so hard they will finally respect our wishes of no contact. I care so much about telling the truth and bringing healing. I fought my entire life to bring communication, truth, and healing to my FOO. There's nothing left to fight for so I have given up, at age 59. I can now only bring healing to myself and other survivors through my words. I finally went back to work on my heart-wrenching memoir that I wrote in 2012 that I originally wrote for them as my last Hope of getting my beloved family of origin and relatives back. But, There Are None So Blind As Those Who Will Not See

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

I really am a sober woman; almost two years

I certainly didn't have to be transparent, did I, about drinking a couple months ago. There is absolutely no need for that kind of openness and forthrightness; in fact, it could potentially accidentally invite judgment from others.

Maybe I'll delete that post if I decide it's best.

I don't want to spend a lot of energy talking about drinking and sobriety on my blog; it's so behind me now. I'm going to be changing my blog title from Sobrietist's Surmisings to something else; once the inspiration strikes and the new title is revealed to me!

It took me years and years to recover from the recovery movement mentality; the brainwashing by AA and WFS, and etc., that I needed anything outside myself to be a successful, fulfilled, very happy sobrietist.... but I finally am deprogrammed!

I AM FREE!!!

I am an entirely New Me. I am a woman who is completely free of all desires to drink alcohol. It's a miracle that I am grateful for. It took time, and it happened the way it needed to happen for me; everyone is different. I don't judge people who seem to need a sobriety group, but I do feel sorry for them! Can't help it; those groups did me more harm than good, and I have more than two decades experience in them.

I NEVER have to worry about drinking again! If I do it, it will be no big deal, and even my Angels told me to "Chillax!" about it. The last time I drank I asked them if it was OK, and they answered me via a license plate on a car that changed lanes in front of me that said, "Chillax".  :-D

And I listened! And I did chillax about it. And I found that even though drinking moderately that night was somewhat enjoyable, for the most part it just isn't my cup of tea anymore. I simply don't "get" the attraction to drinking anymore. Being clear-headed (that is, as much as is possible with CFS), and being in control, is MUCH more appealing to me! Not to mention putting only healthy things in my body!!!

Babe  ITotal  Control  of  Herself!  (proud BITCH!)