If I tell myself the truth, and allow myself to blog about it, it will help me.
Tons of people who like to write find this to be true for them.
Right now I am feeling like crap in every way but especially emotionally. <sigh>
Usually when this happens, especially in the morning, I get sort of paralyzed for a while.
Paralyzed in sadness, grief, emptiness, and loss.
My little family and I had a great day yesterday, I slept very well, and I woke up happy.
You know what I mean?
You know how when you first start to come-to and you feel all joyful and peaceful inside?
God, I love that!
And that is the norm for me because despite everything I'm basically a happy person in love with life.
So, I guess I gotta give myself some props right now.
I'm doing great. I'm simply grieving.
I hear my ex-mother's voice all the time criticizing me and telling me there's something wrong with me.
So, when I feel like crap, as I do presently, I'm very unforgiving of myself and I tend to have horrible, self-condemning self-talk.
So, F U C K H E R !!!!!!!!!!!
There, hopefully that will help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!