Important On My Mind Today

This picture was posted on Facebook today. I shared it on my Timeline and wrote this caption:

To Humanity: Is that too much to ask? I'm there for you when you are ill. I ask you how you are doing and I listen to you. I offer you support and well wishes. I care. I believe you when you tell me you are sick. Why can't you do the same for me? I know the name of this disease sucks and is misleading, I know we don't look or sound ill, but if you would just ask me I would so gratefully explain all that. Love, The Millions With CFS/ME

 

16 1/2 years with this illness, and it does get lonely sometimes....... a lot.

I Like What I'm Learning About Love And Happiness

Maybe it's because my father was a minister that I feel called to preach, after all, I was the kid in our family that was the most like him. 
The heart Loves Love. 
The heart is the center of the universe.
Learning how to cultivate and reinforce Self Love is the greatest healer of everything. 
A way to live in Self Love and feel it deeply is to send I Love Yous to your heart constantly.
If things that happen make you unhappy it's because you were already unhappy. Things that happen can't make you unhappy.
Happiness isn't something you can possess, it's what you are.

To Be Continued...

Thoughts About Drinking -- Fully Healed

What has transpired for me and alcohol could be called nothing short of a miracle -- and thought I'd blog about that!

A long history of alcohol abuse and perhaps alcoholism has completely transformed into something so healthy on all levels. Not only my relationship with alcohol but to any stigma I carried about drinking and about recovery groups.

I don't really know how I got here -- must be something mystical -- I'm totally free from any and all attachment OR judgment about booze. I can take it or leave it and I prefer to leave it. It's just not in my thinking or on my radar. 

I have no fear whatsoever about drinking. I used to have a shitload of fear about drinking. During "sobriety periods" in and out of 10 recovery organizations over three decades, I'd fear like crazy drinking again. Like something bad would happen to me if I drank or "slipped." And it would ruin my life. And it would destroy any sober living I'd achieved. And it would send me deep into uncontrollable drinking. I own all those thoughts and feelings; I don't blame anyone or anything for putting them in my head. 

So, here I am today, 2 1/2 years as a Sobrietist, and I make my own rules about that, as we all should. Alcohol is not a friend per se, but it's not my enemy any longer either. I posted before about my pattern, if you can call it that, of drinking a few times a year whenever the spirit moves me, and that I drink no more than two drinks, and over a period of a few hours. Not sure I went into that kind of detail before, but that's them (the details).

I enjoy it OK, but truly not like I enjoy not drinking! It serves a purpose to relax me and alter my consciousness a bit and make me feel like I'm celebrating myself, which we all need to do more of; not drinking, celebrating ourselves. What I enjoy the most about those drinks is that I CAN enjoy them and that I CAN drink them. I worship the Freedom I have. I mean, I and the Powers That Be totally transformed ME! That's a Powerful accomplishment that I'm truly learning to trust in! I know there are many people in the world -- people who are Awakening, or Ascending, or whatever you want to all it -- who know exactly what I'm experiencing and talking about. I'm not that unique.

I've made my blog more public now and that's why this bears writing about and explaining. It's a follow-up to my post pre-public back in November when I wrote about enjoying some vodka. I haven't had drinks since then and don't plan to any time soon. Those two drinks were structured, by the way, with Structured Water. And structuring drinks makes them good for you, or at least not harmful, according to the inventor of the devices who is a scientist and physicist. There's more about that on my website. There are no hangovers with structured drinks. That's what they tell me; I would never drink more than two so I'll never know. It's because of my history, mostly, that I'd never drink more than one or two. My history and my physiology. And my choice and desire.

It's the being that I am today: Health conscious; very careful what she eats and drinks and says and thinks. Not a puritan and not a fanatic, just me.

I Love My Life

I've been through a lot, like most of us have. 

Somehow it's resulted in me becoming this very happy woman who truly loves herself!

It's not from outside myself.

Many things are just as shitty as they ever were.

It's me who has changed.

I simply love everything!

I feel as if I've truly been touched by Angels.

There is such a richness to my inner life.

There is such an appreciation for my outer life.

Just "being" brings me so much joy and peace.

I roll with the punches so beautifully now.

If this is as good as it gets I'm OK with that!

Rebirthing My Blog

In Summary:

I had a decade-or-so-long blog that I deleted two years ago for personal reasons.

I started this blog as an anonymous journal shortly thereafter and it was called "Sobrietist's Surmisings."

During the past two years I did a lot of healing and a lot of growing.

I'm a very happy person.

Healing and growing is probably a lifetime thing.

Just today I decided to personalize this blog and go public again.

I've been happily on Facebook for a few months -- joined because I'm no longer afraid of my family of origin. And that's also why I'm rebirthing this blog.  www.facebook.com/judy.actonayala

There is a beautiful, active CFS community there. We give and take so much loving support. MomWriters are there too; my original inspiration for starting my first blog over a decade ago. There are so many blast-from-the-past friends there that are so much fun. There are assorted family members from both the Brown and Acton clans and what a miracle and a gift to reconnect with them for the first time since childhood, some of them. There is a shitload of spiritual teachers that uplift and keep me pointed in the right direction on my personal path. And in general, there's just a lot of cool stuff on Facebook! I'm truly grateful to finally be connected!

Twitter is next, no doubt.

My book is NOT done after all, not by a long shot! It's got a lot more to say to me! It's going to go in an unexpected and much better direction! FYI, right now it is called "PK Pariah" about surviving my childhood and family of origin. Incest and emotional abuse. And surviving not being successful at trying to bring healing to us. We are estranged. I'm like an orphan. PK means preacher's kid. Pariah as in the outcast of the family.

Yes, I'm very alcohol-free and practically worship that status.

Self Love is growing every day. It's the most important thing in life and needs to be taught to humanity.

My two daughters are rockin college and their lives. I'm so glad they live with me.

Richard and I are very close and doing so much better than ever in our marriage---as separated partners for six years. 11 years if you count the separated-but-living-together years (which really sucked; it was so hard).

I'm extremely proud of my business and the website I taught myself to build, with a bit of solid direction from my daughter's friend, Jessica. www.structured-water-devices.com.

I hope to share a lot about Structured Water and the world's need for it.

I Love You