Concurrently, I happened to re-listen to Matt Kahn's recording on how to have everlasting joy! In other words, I was still feeling so depressed so I started listening to it. It was weird because listening to a spiritual teaching when you are depressed triggers your unhappy ego to make stabbing attack thoughts at it and at your own self! Ha Ha!
I had completely forgotten the message of that recording and was dying to hear the secret to everlasting joy! So was my ego! Ha Ha! My ego was telling me whatever it was it couldn't be real or true or I would have remembered it---if it was that great!
But then, after a while, Matt got to the point(!) and he said the words I had heard before but had forgotten but now remembered. Probably because it was so simple of a concept that it seemed unreal and too good to be true.
He said that all we have to do to have everlasting joy is two things:
Ask for what we want
and
Talk about how we are feeling
And by the time I realized I was happy again, I also realized that was exactly what I had done on my blog, and that was why I was in joy again. Do you follow?
Apparently our souls require that we always ask for what we want no matter what. All damn day! To ourselves or to others! It's the ego that only asks for what it wants only if it thinks it's going to get it. Egos won't ask for something they want if they think they're not going to get it. I clearly asked for what I want with my mother, knowing full well it was impossible. But I ASKED. It's not even necessary to ask the person in question (and is a bad idea of an abusive person). It's not about getting what you ask for it's about asking.
Talking about our feelings is very important. No matter what they are. I clearly expressed how I was feeling, didn't I. :)
Good stuff, bad stuff, happy stuff, sad stuff---whatever the topic or the want: Ask! and Emote!
I'm not good at talking about or explaining these things yet, but I "get" it inside.
