2016 Update: I care more about this blog than I do that "they" can read it, otherwise I'd stop writing it and create a new one. As long as they finally leave me and my little family alone, there should be no problem, even though I requested that they don't read it. Since they have no interest in my writing, I'm probably safe. I hope so hard they will finally respect our wishes of no contact. I care so much about telling the truth and bringing healing. I fought my entire life to bring communication, truth, and healing to my FOO. There's nothing left to fight for so I have given up, at age 59. I can now only bring healing to myself and other survivors through my words. I finally went back to work on my heart-wrenching memoir that I wrote in 2012 that I originally wrote for them as my last Hope of getting my beloved family of origin and relatives back. But, There Are None So Blind As Those Who Will Not See

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

"I'ma be me!"

Thank you Wanda Sykes for that cool declaration that I'm only too happy to liberate from you!

 When there's no one to give love to I give love to myself. My purpose is to let my love out. When I'm feeling sad, it's because I'm not letting my love out. And in my case often there is no one to let my love out to. So here I am. I guess I'm not complaining; it is what it is which by definition means it's OK. 

 I decided to have a celebratory glass of structured Guinness Draught. I guess you could say it's my quad-annual imbibement, since I only do it about four times a year. And I feel really good about that and totally chillaxed. Okay, THAT is reason to rejoice! WHAT a MAJOR TRANSFORMATION! People really CAN radically change, even from alcoholic to truly occasional drinker, and I certainly have! I'm not too shy about telling the world anymore, even with the risk of being misjudged and criticized and misunderstood. I'ma Be Me! I am a Sobrietist and I define what that means for me. I've been successful at enjoying a drink now and then without consequence for two years now. It's time to come out of the closet about it because I trust it now. I trust myself now. And I trust the way my body and brain handles alcohol now. For pure preference as well as for health I have no desire to drink regularly.

 Now that I'm Structured because of Sacred Structured Water, I automatically and inherently practice Self Care in all things which means I don't overdo many things anymore. I'm only human and I'm so new that I definitely blow it now and then with food. Structuring alcoholic beverages and coffee makes you want to consume less because it packs a bigger punch, not to  mention that structured drinks don't give you a hangover. If I'm lyin I'm dyin. Ask Clayton Nolte! Like him, the inventor of SW Devices, I'm ahead of the world in this knowledge, but it's part of my work to teach it to the world. What if changing ONE thing could change everything? ~ Clayton Nolte.

Even before SW came into  my life like a miracle, I had already undergone such a personal transformation that I believe my very physiology was improved, and I had so successfully deprogrammed from the Recovery Movement Mentality that I was able to partake in the good spirits as I chose to. And I've always been meds-free; totally meds-free.

 I'm talking about myself too much, but it's with the intention of healing others via my experience and via shining my Light. Besides, it's My Blog! It's all about moi if I want it to be. I'm only getting started at how much I have to share with the world in order to help transform it. I feel as though I'm gearing up for something GREAT. And I Love that.

 Who says a poor, ill, 57-year-old woman who lives life mostly from her Throne (bed) can't help change the world?
Ultimate Vow:   
I No Longer Wish To Harm Myself. 
I Step Into The Light 
Of My Soul's Highest Destiny 
Here And Now As I Am. 
And So It Is.

~  That is lovingly downloaded from Matt Kahn
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