2016 Update: I care more about this blog than I do that "they" can read it, otherwise I'd stop writing it and create a new one. As long as they finally leave me and my little family alone, there should be no problem, even though I requested that they don't read it. Since they have no interest in my writing, I'm probably safe. I hope so hard they will finally respect our wishes of no contact. I care so much about telling the truth and bringing healing. I fought my entire life to bring communication, truth, and healing to my FOO. There's nothing left to fight for so I have given up, at age 59. I can now only bring healing to myself and other survivors through my words. I finally went back to work on my heart-wrenching memoir that I wrote in 2012 that I originally wrote for them as my last Hope of getting my beloved family of origin and relatives back. But, There Are None So Blind As Those Who Will Not See

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

On The Other Hand

I was so grateful I broke with tradition yesterday, I broke the estrangement to text message my mom and tell her thank you.

I don't feel great about how things went though.

Me: Thank you for remembering Beth's birthday. It's not like you to be late. I confess I thought the worst

Mom: never have never will

Me: Surely you can understand my feelings

Mom: No

Me: Well, that hurts but I love you

Mom: Love you too


Well, she's never understood me or my feelings so why start now?
I mean, it's so weird. Given all that happened she can't see how I'd make a connection to her card being late for the first time in our lives?
My feelings aren't valid?
I took the time, and cared enough to connect with her, but that too means nothing?
Can't even get an acknowledgement of ANYthing.



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