2016 Update: I care more about this blog than I do that "they" can read it, otherwise I'd stop writing it and create a new one. As long as they finally leave me and my little family alone, there should be no problem, even though I requested that they don't read it. Since they have no interest in my writing, I'm probably safe. I hope so hard they will finally respect our wishes of no contact. I care so much about telling the truth and bringing healing. I fought my entire life to bring communication, truth, and healing to my FOO. There's nothing left to fight for so I have given up, at age 59. I can now only bring healing to myself and other survivors through my words. I finally went back to work on my heart-wrenching memoir that I wrote in 2012 that I originally wrote for them as my last Hope of getting my beloved family of origin and relatives back. But, There Are None So Blind As Those Who Will Not See

Friday, February 20, 2015

I Had A Wild Night!

It was one of those evenings where my Spirit felt so Free and wanted to Play all night! But my Body wanted to rest, as usual! It's quite the balancing act learning how to balance between the two! How far can I push my body before it forces me to halt! It's a Precarious situation because it's a Fact that if we pwc's (people with the chronic illness of ME/CFS/SEID) push ourselves too far, our health is in Great Peril of getting Permanently Worse. It happens All The Time to those of us with this disease; it's tragic. No one can tell me what to do either, I have to figure it out for myself.

 So, I joined a Dating Site last night!

 And afterwards vaped some med weed and got pretty high!
I Love that it's Good for me in every way.

And somewhere in-between getting a little high and more high, I had 1 1/2 beers with Richard, Guinness Draught, and we had a conversation that I feel strengthened our bond. He will always be my bff and co-parent! Then I drove home from his apartment a mile away and smoked some more, and looked at the millions of men hitting on me at the site. *joke* But there were a lot of them; one I quickly identified as a scammer and reported. It's not hard to identify a scammer: they only post one pic (which is not them), and their use of the English language is broken (even though the profile says Master's Degree, lol). They ply you with compliments and praise; it's hilarious.

So, I don't drink no mo, and last night was a reminder why. I simply can't drink like a normal person, especially not beer. I had a frightful night with eery symptoms. Relieved it's over.

On this dating site, designed for elderly people like me *joke*. It's for folks in their 50s and 60s. I feel Entirely Confident and Comfortable in being myself. I'm going to be upfront about my disease because it's an important part of who I am (it basically calls the shots for my life). If someone is interested in me, they will be interested in me exactly as I am. I also am upfront about being separated and dependent on my dh for financial support -- even though there's no need to put All of that sort of thing in my profile; it's for revealing shortly into getting to know someone.

I'm only interested in friendship and intimacy with someone, so I don't foresee my life situation getting in the way. Do you?

It's been more years than I care to say right now how long it's been since I've been physical with someone. I've been in a long-distance bff relationship for the past 12 years (since I was separated) that has been wonderfully chemistry-filled though!


 
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