2016 Update: I care more about this blog than I do that "they" can read it, otherwise I'd stop writing it and create a new one. As long as they finally leave me and my little family alone, there should be no problem, even though I requested that they don't read it. Since they have no interest in my writing, I'm probably safe. I hope so hard they will finally respect our wishes of no contact. I care so much about telling the truth and bringing healing. I fought my entire life to bring communication, truth, and healing to my FOO. There's nothing left to fight for so I have given up, at age 59. I can now only bring healing to myself and other survivors through my words. I finally went back to work on my heart-wrenching memoir that I wrote in 2012 that I originally wrote for them as my last Hope of getting my beloved family of origin and relatives back. But, There Are None So Blind As Those Who Will Not See

Friday, February 27, 2015

It Was Just A Joke, A Game!

There's No Fucking Way I belong on a dating site!
Being on it has made me MISERABLE!
The only reason I joined OurTime.com was because I mistakenly believed that the man I love, my long-time long-distance relationship, was seeing other women!
And now I know he's not!
And the thought of any other man touching me but him makes me cringe! Even though we haven't seen each other for 10 Long Years.
So, since I'm not allowed to get a refund ($111) for the minimum 6-month membership, I simply changed my profile to say that I'm seeking Friendship or Pen Pal!
I don't even want THAT! I don't want ANYTHING from ANYONE! But I'm STUCK on that stupid site for 6 months! So I might as well make more of a game out of it!
The pictures are of my Very-Quick-Edit of my profile I posted previously. I need to spend some time there to word it much better.
My Whole Brain Feels Like It Is Going To Explode. I feel so discombobulated. It's from the disease I have, the "Hillenbrand's Disease" of ME/CFS/SEID. This stress I'm under has wreaked havoc on the symptoms!!
I Feel Much Better having identified the problem and fixing it; it will take some time for my brain to return to "my" normal. My original profile wasn't fully honest, but I didn't know it at the time. Who the hell is Fully Honest on a dating site profile anyway??!!
It feels wonderful "Keeping it 100". I strive to be as Authentic and Honest as I can, with myself especially.





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