2016 Update: I care more about this blog than I do that "they" can read it, otherwise I'd stop writing it and create a new one. As long as they finally leave me and my little family alone, there should be no problem, even though I requested that they don't read it. Since they have no interest in my writing, I'm probably safe. I hope so hard they will finally respect our wishes of no contact. I care so much about telling the truth and bringing healing. I fought my entire life to bring communication, truth, and healing to my FOO. There's nothing left to fight for so I have given up, at age 59. I can now only bring healing to myself and other survivors through my words. I finally went back to work on my heart-wrenching memoir that I wrote in 2012 that I originally wrote for them as my last Hope of getting my beloved family of origin and relatives back. But, There Are None So Blind As Those Who Will Not See

Monday, February 25, 2013

P.S. to post below

I want to make it clear about morning energy cuz it's not like I wake up with it! Oh contrare. I wake up feeling like what I call the living dead. I wake up feeling like the living dead. Every single morning for the past 15+ years. It takes me about 30 minutes to muster up the energy and strength to sit up and get out of bed.

Life is good

I FINISHED MY BOOK! Now it's editor-ready. It was a year of blood, sweat and tears writing it. It's about my long healing journey from abuses in my core family. It's written with so much love. It started out in hopefulness of finally bringing reconciliation to me and them, but ended in the apparent awareness that it is probably an obituary to my relationships with them. It will give my daughters an understanding of why things are the way they are when I feel they are old enough to read it. It gave me closure writing it. I feel free to live my life now. It will hopefully inspire other survivors to find their own voices, in order to Feel Deal Heal.

I got my first laptop and I'm lovin' it. Laptop virgin no more. 56 is old to never have had a laptop, huh! It's making my life with CFS so much more bearable, so much less boring from life mostly in bed.

It's Monday morning, I just finished my tall dark roast Starbucks coffee with heavy cream, and now I must get my breakfast (Amy's gluten-free organic bean burrito)(yum!), take my many supplements, and get on with my morning errands. I get to get a lot done in the mornings when I have some energy. I feel really lucky about that.