I Want To Wish Myself A Happy Birthday!! :)

So..... 58!

Some Notes From Matt Kahn's Latest Talk About Healing!

Matt's Secret To Healing: Put aside the impulse to find the "healer" and know that the need for healing is not a sign that you are imbalanced. You are going through such a radical energetic transformation the illness needs love and attention. 

Ailments = proof I am healing and expanding. My healing crisis is evidence of how rapidly I'm expanding in consciousness. No matter how grueling or long this crisis seems, I accept that it is a Gift from the Divine for my most radical expansion, and is the highest destiny I could ever receive. It is healed when it has nothing more to teach me! 

Having ______ is the best thing that's ever happened to me because it is proving to me that ailments have nothing to do with consciousness.

Frees me of judgments of ailments. It's a teacher here to free me of judgment!

Thinking of it as anything but a gift keeps it here.

I Have Happily Decided That Drinking Is Still Not For Me

I've enjoyed complete freedom from having a drinking problem for three years now, and I want to keep it going! The minute I noticed any kind of returning problem with my drinking, I quit completely again. I give myself a lot of credit for this. But the very last thing on earth I ever need again is a drinking problem! It's Easy to say NO to that! I love sobriety so much, and I love having control of myself.

For many reasons this month has been really hard for me---and I'm turning 58 on the 31st. I drank more than I planned to last night, and more than is good for me.... So I'm Done! It was a nice escape for the most part, but I'm not messing around with booze; it's potentially dangerous for me. And I'm too precious for that! :)

I feel great, albeit this hangover... first one in three years. I definitely did not miss hangovers!

I'll keep my medical cannabis, which I have never abused, and which I have never used more than sporadically, and only at night. And I get to start taking the sublingual CBD drops soon, which will heal more of my health issues! Without the high.

Getting high isn't as fun as it used to be when I was a youth! And I'm no Bill Maher! Although, the THC is a God-send when CFS symptoms are acting up at night; which mercifully for me isn't that often. 

So... am I making sense?? I am, huh!?

Here's a new blog post from a friend who is successfully treating MS with CBD drops:  http://msquill.com/?p=529

I Wrote One Sentence In My Book Today

It's the last sentence, added to what I wrote a couple years ago:

An Intro of sorts

            PK is what people called us preacher’s kids. Pariah---meaning outcast of the family when incest and emotional abuse caused them to basically abandon me when I spoke up about it within the family; with the intention of bringing healing to all of us.

            But, this book is not a bitching session, it is my fight to wholeness and happiness, inner peace and understanding. And on-going forgiveness. It is my exploration through my feelings and my thought processes, and intense conversations and emails with my family to discover how and if I can achieve reunion with my family of origin.* And the subtitle could be, The Truth Shall Set You Free.

            *Spoiler Alert: The answer is No.

        

I understand now why I'm blocked from finishing my memoir. I wanted a happy ending. The whole book (236 pages) is about working towards healing and reunion with my family. Since that turned out not to be in the cards..... guess I'm still recovering from learning that last year....

   

Journaling To Myself For Clarity

I want to make some more money
I want to promote my Structured Water Devices business
And I want to create a store at Society6 to sell my beautiful mandalas
And I want to get back to work on my memoir for publishing

Am I stuck?
Or am I just allowing things to open-up and unfold at their own pace?
I've been chronically ill with the debilitating illness for so long I don't know how to do anything other than to just allow things to unfold

Pushing myself still doesn't seem to be an option for me
Loving myself unconditionally is my only option
As my love grows my confidence grows
And so does my inspiration and creativity

Setting this intention to want more may spark something

I Need To Write More And Watch TV Less!

I'm like in limbo.
I am a writer.
But I am not writing.
Therefore I am not a writer.
But I want to be a writer.

I don't know what to write.
I don't know how to write anything else but my book.
I don't know how to get back to work on my book.

I feel like I'm Not Allowed to write anything else until my book is finished.
I feel like if I try to write anything else I'll never finish my book!!!
It's a MEMOIR-type-book, you know!

I'm Stuck!!!

Who do I talk to about this??
Where do I turn?

Should I post this on Facebook??

I Am Waiting For This:

Per Previous Post!

Richard and I shared a half liter of wine over Chinese last night. It was a delightful time! We didn't even drink the whole thing. It is the first time in our lives that he has felt safe and confident about me drinking, and it is the first time in years he has wanted to drink with me (because he trusts me with drinking now). Oh! But I definitely look guilty in this picture because it was impossible not to feel uncomfortable my first time having my picture taken drinking!

I Am Cured Of "Alcoholism" Or Problem Drinking

This is going to be phenomenally fun to write! It's also going to feel amazing to go public with my reality of the past couple years; mostly of 2014.

I've blogged about this before, but never to the point of feeling completely cured to where I never drink more than 1 1/2 drinks!

During the past year I have found my max and I effortlessly abide by it! And I still only indulge a few times a year.

I simply have no thought or desire to drink more than that!

Can alcoholism be cured in the new paradigm where we are transcending into the 5th dimension?
Or was I never an alcoholic to begin with?
I don't know for sure, but the people who were effected by my drinking in the past definitely knew I was an alcoholic. I knew I was one too because of how the problem progressed and how I couldn't control my drinking. There was more than a psychological problem, there was a physiological problem with me and booze.

I quit drinking in a quantum moment on my 55th birthday almost three years ago. One year fully immersed in complete abstinence from drinking, I began drinking once every few months. It was easy not to drink more often than that because there was a permanent shift in me. I drank four and down to two drinks when I drank, discovering that that was too much for my body, but in 2014, learning that I could only healthily handle only one - 1 1/2 drinks, I never drank otherwise. It was effortless.

I prefer using no substances at all as my way of being, but there are occasions when I love to imbibe! Either one or 1 1/2 drinks, and/or some cannabis.

Alcohol dehydrates the body and I am all about hydration. Now that I am fully immersed in Structured Water, there's no going back!

In the past year being fully structured my health and happiness have grown exponentially! Richard and the girls notice this truth too!

 

On The Hornblower Harbor Bay Cruise 1/1/15 -- I'm never without my Structured Water!