It Is Day 6 Of My 28-Day Super Juice Me Cleanse

These are pictures of shopping-day before Day 1. It was Mother's Day and Anna and Bethany joyfully helped me buy all these healers from Whole Foods:

I'm feeling pretty good today, the start of Day 6. Here was my lunch yesterday (I get four juices a day. SuperJuiceMe.com):

It's all quite tremendous, I must say. There's a great variety of juices. You can't know what it's like to not eat food until you do it! You can't imagine it!

Here's us on Mother's Day. We got Burger Lounge burgers (organic, grass-fed) for take-out after shopping. We ate cup cakes for dessert! My "last hurrah" so to speak!

 

More About My Miraculous Journey Back To Sobriety!

How to write this as brief as possible!

It really does get better... even though my physiology always eventually dictates that alcohol is a very bad match for me!

What gets better, you ask? Drinking. Yes, over the decades my returning to drinking experiences after lots of sobriety periods has gotten better, easier, smoother, more controlled... easier on my body and behavior, less consequences of every kind (physical, behavioral, etc.)... 

Bear with me, all roads lead back to "Judy Is Meant To Be Alcohol-Free!"...

Decades of problem binge drinking. Decades of mostly sobriety; each sobriety period more healing and more happy than the last...

My most recent story: 2012 alcohol-free; it was so easy; the first time it's ever been easy even from the start, even though I became suicidally depressed 1 1/2 months sober, but that led me to write my memoir which cured my depression.

2013 and 2014: Drinking. Happy with my drinking. No consequences. Certain my "alcoholism" was cured or never really was. Achieved such moderation success because of all my personal and spiritual growth, and because I Loved Myself at long last.

2015: Out of nowhere my drinking went from two years of drinking once a month to drinking every/other day! And drinking more than I planned the times I drank!


Here's the Gift in the Problem though!:

Because of being drunk I got my FOO back (family of origin), that I had been estranged from (for good reasons). Drinking made me call my mother and my sister which resulted in a totally unexpected and miraculous healing and reunion!!! So I Will Never Demonize Alcohol!

But THEN, a few weeks later, I had a Kundalini Awakening! And those Angels that gave me that very physical blow Woke Me Up again and back into choosing to be alcohol-free! I'll save that story for another time, but WOW...


It just goes to show you the Wonder of Life in all it's surprising forms!


And like I love to say now, no matter how enlightened I become, or how much I grow as a person, or how much I learn to love myself, or how long I am able to be happy in my drinking (unlike I was back in the day), PHYSIOLOGY still Rules!

But NOW, unlike most of the sobriety times of my past, it's So Easy to switch my mindset and become a happy Sobrietist again. It's become So Natural to choose Doing The Most Loving Thing For My Body!


Blessings

Just a funny picture! (looking for my gray hair, with delight):

Boy Was I Wrong! (again)

Yesterday I had what must have been a midlife crisis...
That led to what I'm hoping was a Kundalini Awakening!

But right now I may be too hungover (or embarrassed) to write the whole story!

I learned I was wrong about myself in regards to drinking alcohol! Or should I say I re-learned!

Girl Can't Drink! Period!
Girl's Physiology Won't Tolerate It!

I thought I was cured of "alcoholism" or problem drinking!
Yesterday I proved myself mistaken about that!

Back story:
I've been mostly a sobrietist (no booze) for the past few decades
But I've been in and out of sobriety as a binge drinker
My most recent alcohol-free period was all of 2012 (when I thought I became a permanent sobrietist)
I drank successfully moderately in 2013 and 2014; drinking by myself starting aprox. once a month; but it slowly increased (crept up on me like a thief in the night!)
This year I've been drinking 0-3 times per week
The past couple of weeks I've been drinking every/other day; always by myself

Just yesterday I blogged that I would never drink alone no mo, and that since I'm mostly by myself I'd only have occasion to drink while socializing only a few times a year! Piece of cake! yeah, right!

But then yesterday happened....! OMG. And I did actually start my drinking home alone...

And I will try to follow-through soon and tell the story that goes with this picture from yesterday!

I am grateful for everything.
I am grateful I have four days to detox before starting my 28-Day Super Juice Me cleanse that I've been planning for a while!

I Feel The Shift :)

I'm so DONE with drinking alone
I have such a deep peace and confidence inside about this shift
I'm full of grounded joy
The drinking phase of this year served a very high purpose while it lasted
Praise God for the truth of that!
I am this blessed energetically sensitive being
And, ha!, I am so rarely not alone that I'll probably end up drinking only a few times a year
Richard and I are going out tomorrow night with our almost-expired Groupon for burgers and a pint each of draft craft beer!
That'll be fun!
Even he
the man who lived with me through the absolute worst of my drinking problem over the decades
totally and completely trusts me about drinking
and has for a few years!
For most of us "alcoholism" is a myth, an erroneous label
How Awesome is God?!
If I experience any suffering over my choice down the line
it is merely the unraveling of my beloved ego

Am I Punishing Myself??

Was it an insight?
Or just a thought and feeling?
Seemingly out of the blue it floated into my mind that I'm punishing myself whenever I drink alone.
And now I want to spend time with this idea.
So here's me doing just that.
Why not do it publicly, I say!

I think I'll just leave the question lingering in the universe for now and see if an answer comes to me on its own.

Am I unconsciously punishing myself when I drink alone?

If so, that's got to stop ASAP, and I mean that.
The last thing I want or deserve is to ever punish myself again.
I've come too far in my personal and spiritual growth to ever punish myself. 
I've grown exponentially in Self Love too.

Maybe yesterday gets to be the last time I drink alone. I got to chat on the phone with my brother under the influence yesterday. Finally got to chat with him since all the soul contracts were resolved with my FOO on April 13. So now I've been able to have conversations with my entire FOO. Very apparently, I needed to be under the influence to do it.


Here's the thing... again, I've only been drinking too much the past few months. Like 0 - 3 times a week. My long-time history with drinking has been as a binge drinker. I think I broke my two-year pattern as a moderate drinker because something was supposed to come from drinking too much lately. It was needed in order for me to get 1) the courage and 2) out of my analytical mind and into my heart:  In order to contact my FOO (family of origin) and break my self-imposed permanent orphanship.

In that regard it wasn't punishing myself then. It had a purpose. 
But NOW --- if it continues, yes, it IS Self Punishment!!

Wow, that was fast!---Getting my answer, I mean!

Like Matt Kahn teaches:  I Deserve More Love Not Less! 
LOVE, not booze!
 

It's International ME/CFS Awareness Day

Which means I feel guided to share what So Many Of My Moments look like.

I took these selfies yesterday. Just a typical ME/CFS moment; I'm too exhausted and fatigued to function. And my muscles are pretty immobilized by weakness. It's not even easy to open my eyes.

There doesn't have to be a rhyme or a reason for these crashes to occur, it's simply part of the disease myself and millions live with.

I don't take meds like almost all of us with ME/CFS do, but I have been known to go through drinking phases. When I look and feel like these pictures?--When I drink alcohol I get energy and can push through the day. It's also fun for me, so a form of entertainment and play. After all, I don't get much physical play time because my disease requires that I live a mostly sedentary lifestyle; not usually as severe as these pictures though. More like this older (sober) picture demonstrates:

I'll never demonize alcohol/drinking again; it has it's place in society. I'm grateful for it. I'm even more grateful that Structured Water prevents hangovers. I'm even more grateful still, that I prefer sobriety and always will!

In 18 years sick my health HAS improved and continues to improve! I'm one of the lucky ones! One of the very few lucky ones! I'm only interested in loving myself, loving my body, taking care of myself. I eat healthier and healthier all the time. I take better care of myself in every way. I'm happier too, than I've ever been!

There is so very much more to say, but I have someplace to go this morning. So, to be continued...

I'm On A Roll!

I got hammered again yesterday and sent my blog to my mom, sister, and brother! So, welcome, readers!

Soon, everything will make sense, I promise.

May we rise above hurt and judgment
May we gently move into understanding and healing
May we be as open and transparent with one another as we are able
May our reunion be full of lasting love and emotional connection
Amen!

 

Just Wrote This Thing On Facebook

I'm So Happy I Could Die!
Yes, I Am So Happy!
"I Could Die"?
LOL!
Obviously, that wonderful cliché means...
"I Could Be In Heaven!"

How Cool To Know That We Already ARE In Heaven; 24/7!