Want to hear about my profound Spiritual Experience Christmas morning? 

Well, I was up early (what mom isn't on Christmas morning--no matter how old your kids are? ) And I was just sitting on my Throne (my bed), when all of a sudden I was flooded with Overwhelming Love, Appreciation and Gratitude for my body... Yes, that's right!--for my very immortal body! It was like Oh My God! I Love You So Much!!... I was Weeping! There was No Thought involved... you know what I mean?... No thought preceded this Awakening. I completely fell in love with my dear body in that moment, just the way it is. And I spoke to it and everything! "I'm going to live forever, but you aren't, and I will miss you!" <weep> "You have been my constant companion and teacher!" "You are so perfect and beautiful! I Love You So Much!" <weep> 

It went on like that for about 10 minutes or so! I was hoping it would last, you know? And it truly is!

I Wish This For Everyone!

Our bodies and us are our original life-long Love Story. It only took me nearly 58 years to recognize that.

Christmas!

Well, I've been trying ALL DAY to create a Photo Album on Facebook to no avail! So, until and if it lets me, I'll post a few pics of our Beautiful, Wonderful day filled with Miracles here on my trusty blog!

With ME/CFS but Pre-Hashimotos 2005

This is why I'm in non-consistent-acceptance and non-consistent-self-love-of-my body!

Pre-Hashimotos nine years ago

This year

I Don't Know How To Consistently Love Myself As A Fat Woman; And I Hope Publishing This Helps Me

It's not my fault I'm fat. I don't deserve to be fat. I see fat women sucking down Big Gulps and I think to myself they deserve to be fat. But I don't. I don't eat junk food. I eat health food. I don't overeat. I eat normally. I'm not a puritan though; I allow treats on holidays and stuff.

I look horrible in my clothes. It really gets me down. I look disgusting naked. It kills me.

No matter what foods I cut-out or how long I limit calories, I remain fat.

I don't want to be fat. I don't like myself fat because it's not who I am.

I'm all about health and healing don'tcha know.

I don't know how to make peace with and love my fatness that is caused by illnesses.

I want to feel pretty in my clothes.

I want the outer me to reflect the inner me. The inner me is beyond words Wonderful and getting Wonderfuller.

I will never find love as long as I'm FAT.

I'm doomed to be alone and fat for the rest of my life?

How do I live with that?



I want to learn how to love my fatness and my body as it is. I want to surrender. I want to embrace myself the way I am. Not just some of the time as I do, but all the time. I'm sick and tired of feeling bad about my looks. I really am.

My health IS healing. WHY isn't my fat melting off in the process??

20 EXTRA POUNDS IS A LOT ON ME! I need to throw out all my short-sleeve shirts!!!

I need a Fairy Godmother to make me fit and trim...

You know who has the perfect body? Kate Winslet. She's womanly and not skinny and not fat.

Then there are amazing women thinkers and leaders and teachers like Jean Houston who is my size and seems completely at peace with her body; seems to adore her body and self.

Maybe I'm being a little hard on myself, but I think the fatness really shows in the following pictures from last Thanksgiving because I didn't FEEL that big until I saw the pictures with my thin family!