Keeping that in mind, let me tell you about this morning.
Three and a half months ago I broke my dental bridge eating popcorn.
For financial reasons I've had to put off getting a new bridge from my wonderful biological dentist, Dr. Yoo. Luckily, there's no pain living like this. I just have to chew mostly on the other side. It's $3600 for a bridge + $200 for a filling.
We finally got Dr. Yoo to agree to allow us to split the payments in half and I have an appointment tomorrow morning.
This morning I was experiencing rather overwhelming fear and anxiety over the upcoming 3-hour work that would be done tomorrow.
In the shower I figured out what was going on. This kind of procedure simply does not mix with ME/CFS. It will entirely do me in. It will be too much for me to endure physically. It will put me into a very big crash where I will be comatose-like. Even getting my teeth cleaned renders me bed-bound for the rest of the day.
As of yet, Dr. Yoo isn't well informed about my disease, so that adds to my fear, because he simply doesn't have a clue what it's like for me. In fact, none of my doctors do. That's just the way it is for almost all ME/CFS patients.
I think I was shaking and crying a little when I called his office this morning to tell them I am not up for this procedure yet and to see if I could come in just to get the filling for now. That alone will take a lot out of me, but I'll still be able to drive myself home.
I'm going to have to schedule the bridge work when someone in my family is available to drop me off and pick me up, for one thing. And at least, getting the filling ahead of time will cut down on the duration and intensity of the procedure a little.
I don't know why I couldn't think all this through before this morning, but it's probably mostly due to the cognitive impairment of ME/CFS. Not to mention that I tend to have amnesia about how sick I really am. That and how I tend to just go along with what my doctors say.
WHICH BRINGS ME TO MY WHINE!
Again, my ex-mother's voice in my head. I've been ill for 18 years and she nor anyone else in my FOO ever asked me how I'm doing. That's first of all. The few times I volunteered to talk to my ex-mother about my disease, she would say, "Boy, Judy, you sure do have a lot of problems!" in a Very Condescending Tone, and then she's laugh that witch cackle.
I do trust Dr. Yoo to take good care of me when the time comes, and it wouldn't even surprise me if he watches the DVD I lent him in January about my disease. "Forgotten Plague" It's a brand new ground-breaking 1-hour film. info: www.forgottenplague.com
