2016 Update: I care more about this blog than I do that "they" can read it, otherwise I'd stop writing it and create a new one. As long as they finally leave me and my little family alone, there should be no problem, even though I requested that they don't read it. Since they have no interest in my writing, I'm probably safe. I hope so hard they will finally respect our wishes of no contact. I care so much about telling the truth and bringing healing. I fought my entire life to bring communication, truth, and healing to my FOO. There's nothing left to fight for so I have given up, at age 59. I can now only bring healing to myself and other survivors through my words. I finally went back to work on my heart-wrenching memoir that I wrote in 2012 that I originally wrote for them as my last Hope of getting my beloved family of origin and relatives back. But, There Are None So Blind As Those Who Will Not See

Thursday, May 5, 2016

Screw My Phone For Not Blocking Numbers And Allowing My Ex-Sister To Leave Me A VM At 11 PM

FOO, You must think I'm crazy. Of course you do, you all do. Your egos need to believe that I'm crazy rather than admit and heal all the abuse.

Karen, (and now I know you are reading my blogs even though I don't want you to since orphaning myself permanently), you must think I'm crazy to be lured back in by that seemingly loving vm you left me late last night, messing up my needed sleep, suggesting we communicate through snail-mail letters.

I'm not stupid, because I know it will only lead to more of the same ole same ole, and me getting HURT again.

My terms are CLEAR:

NO CONTACT (to any of us) EVER, ABOUT ANYTHING, UNLESS:

  • YOU READ "THE COURAGE TO HEAL" BY LAURA DAVIS AND ELLEN BASS
  • YOU READ MY MEMOIR-IN-PROGRESS
  • ADMIT THAT I WAS SEXUALLY ABUSED BY YOUR FATHER AND EMOTIONALLY ABUSED BY YOUR MOTHER
  • SHOW ME COMPASSION AND EMPATHY AND APOLOGIZE FOR NOT BELIEVING ME OR SUPPORTING ME
  • ADMIT YOUR OWN ABUSE OF BULLYING ME MY ENTIRE LIFE
  • APOLOGIZE SINCERELY AND PROFUSELY
  • FEEL  DEAL  HEAL

I Have ALWAYS Wanted To, And Tried To Apologize For My Part In Any Of It, But Was Not Even Allowed To Do That Much, Let Alone Get Any Of You To Tell The Truth, Communicate, And Bring Healing.

Your mother, inexcusably, minimizes my abuse by your father and denies my abuse by her, and that means you all do; all my FOO and relatives. Because that's the way she wants it and has to have it. And because I'm expendable to her and all of you.

I'M MAD AS HELL AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE

I WALKED AWAY FROM YOU ALL FOR GOOD REASON AND I'M NOT LOOKING BACK, BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT IS NEEDED TO CREATE REUNION

 Nonetheless,