Pleased With The Header Change Above

Updating my blog header is good medicine after having yet another dream last night of being sexually abused by my father.

He's been dead nearly two decades yet he still invades my dreams regularly, as does the rest of my FOO. He appears as if in present-day and it's always mortifying and far too real to be just a dream.

It's part of my burden to bear due to them refusing to Feel Deal Heal with me.

On another note, boy did I score when I found this class!:

  Writing-As-A-Spiritual-Practice

Thank You Matt

The difference between a lightworker and a victim has nothing to do with the situations faced, but how one responds to the circumstances at hand. A lightworker uses their world of experiences to become the change they wish to see, while a victim is hurt by the actions of a world, while waiting for the change they have yet to become. On a spiritual level, a victim is a lightworker in training.  ~ Matt Kahn  

To Breathe

This is me starting to wake up from a very long nightmare and being able to get a glimmer of what a hero I actually am. How courageously brave it was of me to put myself into the lion's den that is my FOO (family of origin)..........

No wonder I'd been practically drowning myself in alcohol. But I'm not anymore.

The grieving and the PTSD would have done me in otherwise.

The suffering from the continued abuse and neglect they doled out on me would have killed me otherwise.

The stark realization of just how true it is that they destroyed me and my life would have been too overwhelming without drinking. (Thank you, alcohol, my friend.)

So, enough time has passed for me to start to really see and appreciate myself.

Oh My God the things I had to go through the past couple of years at their hands, in my millionth attempt to try to bring healing.

I failed at that, but I did finally get the whole truth about them. So now I can really be free.

Oh my god I hope I'll be able to find the words to describe it all one day.

But for now I am gleaning a new appreciation of myself, instead of feeling like a loser and a victim.

 

 

Still Here, For Now

Been so heavily grieving and in PTSD over my FOO (family of origin) for such a long time now.
Haven't been blogging here because my ex-mother and ex-sister read it, and that's toxic to my well-being and hinders my healing process.

There are no words to describe and express my emotional pain over all that is.

I Hate Them All So Much For All They Have Done To Me.
And, it's all SO SENSELESS and UNFATHOMABLE!

They literally DESTROYED me and my life, all the while telling me endlessly that they LOVE me.

It took me SO VERY LONG to get the Whole Truth because of the Love-and-Abuse in the same package, and the great charade they've put on.
I've been trying to bring communication and truth and healing to us for OVER THREE DECADES, but, at age 58 (I'm 59 now), I finally got the true picture of who they are and what they really think of me.

I gave them EVERY chance in the world, over and over again, to work things out. But they only ever refused. I'M EXPENDABLE TO THEM.

Incest, Emotional Abuse, Narcissism, Materialism = My FOO


There Is NO Hope

For All The Women! This REALLY WORKS On UTI's! And It Works FAST! With NO Side Effects! : )

Happy Dance!

We Never Have To Go To The Doctor Or Take Harmful Antibiotics Ever Again For UTIs !!!!

"The typical dose of D-Mannose for UTI treatment is 500 mg, in capsule or powder form, taken in a glass of water or juice every two to three hours for five days. It is a good practice to continue taking the supplement even after symptoms have diminished to ensure complete elimination of the bacteria in the urinary tract. This dose can also be taken as a preventative, or prophylactic, method."

 

I, personally, recommend taking the supplements with pure water, as the fructose in juice can add to the problem. My UTI is already significantly better after just 1/2 a day on the above protocol! OhhManWhatARelief!!! :D

 

Link: Treat And Prevent UTIs Without Drugs

Link: Dr. Mercola Article 

 

 

Why It's Difficult For Me To Keep This Blog Going

I LOVE my blog.
BUT,
I know members of my FOO (family of origin) are reading it and that is not a good thing for me; it's hurting and harming my well-being and state of mind.
I orphaned myself from them for very real and good reasons.
I need them completely out of my life in order to fully heal.
And the reason is because they would rather lose me than admit and heal the abuse that happened to me at their hands.
It's a torturous situation for me.
I have been seriously contemplating shutting down this blog because of them; I barely write here as it is.
I'll never stop writing though! : )

In A Perfect Progressive World....

Bernie Sanders will be President
Elizabeth Warren will be Vice President
Elizabeth Warren will go on to be the first woman President

Thank God I Have The Personality Of A Comedian

You gotta start thinking of  me as a comedian when you read my blog.
Not that the serious things I write aren't real, but that it always gets to come back to humor and sarcastic wit with me.

And I feel things so deeply. I feel everything so deeply.

GRATEFUL to be able to truly and finally walk away from my abusive FOO (family of origin).

But MORE Grateful that I still got the man of my dreams in my life!

OK, see, Divine Intervention happened between he and I.
I swear to GodGoddessUniverse, the universe wants us together, loves us together, shows signs of this All The Fucking Time !

We're star-crossed, and that's the impossible torturous part, but we are BACK as friends.
And HE initiated it at first, but then we almost said goodbyes in emails... until the Divine Intervention happened.

I know this is cryptic and I know you want details!

One day, my pretties, one day you shall have them.

Photo I copied off of Facebook from my friend : )