This is me starting to wake up from a very long nightmare and being able to get a glimmer of what a hero I actually am. How courageously brave it was of me to put myself into the lion's den that is my FOO (family of origin)..........
No
wonder I'd been practically drowning myself in alcohol. But I'm not anymore.
The
grieving and the PTSD would have done me in otherwise.
The
suffering from the continued abuse and neglect they doled out on me would have
killed me otherwise.
The
stark realization of just how true it is that they destroyed me and my life
would have been too overwhelming without drinking. (Thank you, alcohol, my friend.)
So,
enough time has passed for me to start to really see and appreciate myself.
Oh
My God the things I had to go through the past couple of years at their hands, in my millionth attempt to try to bring healing.
I failed at that, but I did finally get the whole truth about them. So now I can really be free.
Oh
my god I hope I'll be able to find the words to describe it all one day.
But
for now I am gleaning a new appreciation of myself, instead of feeling like a
loser and a victim.
